When Too Much Meets Not Enough

You're texting someone new. Things seem fine—cute, even—until... silence. Ghosting and overtexting? Total opposites, but surprisingly connected. Let’s talk about the emotional mess that happens when one person clings and the other runs.

Ghosting is when someone vanishes mid-conversation like they’ve been kidnapped, but somehow still finds time to post stories. No message, no goodbye, just... gone. It sucks, and it makes you question whether your last “haha” came off as too desperate.

But ghosting isn’t always about you doing something wrong. And sometimes you might’ve ghosted someone too. 

Here’s the thing: people ghost when they feel emotionally cornered. People overtext when they feel insecure or unsure. Ghosting is a way to avoid emotions; overtexting is a way to manage too many of them. One panics and pulls away. The other panics and leans in harder. Cue disaster.

If you're an overtexter:

Instead of texting three times before breakfast, pause and ask yourself if you're reaching out to connect or to calm your own anxiety. If their replies are short or slow, try matching their pace instead of chasing their attention. Waiting for a reply? Distract yourself. Anything but obsessively checking read receipts. Also, silence doesn't always mean rejection. Sometimes people are just bad at texting. Or worse—normal.

If you're the one ghosting:

Before you disappear, try sending one honest message. Even something simple like “Hey, I don’t think this is a fit” is better than dropping off the planet. If someone’s texting you too much, say it gently. Try: “Hey, I need a little more space between replies.” If you’ve already ghosted, you can still send a quick note. It won’t fix everything, but it shows that you can act like a human.

If you're trying to date like a semi-functional adult:

Be upfront about how you like to communicate. Quick replies? Slow burn? Say so early. And don’t turn texting into your whole relationship. Meet up. Talk. Let actual words out of your mouth. Texting is just the trailer, not the movie.

No need to add extra weirdness by pretending someone doesn’t exist or writing them a novel before they’ve had their morning coffee. Take a breath. Say what you mean.