The Psychology of ‘Situationships’

You text every day. You cuddle. You’ve met their cat. But are you dating? No one knows. Not even them. Welcome to the deliciously confusing hellscape known as the situationship: where feelings exist, but clarity does not.

There’s a name for that thing you’re doing with that person who’s “not technically your partner” but also “low-key ruining your ability to focus on emails”. It’s called a situationship. And no, it’s not fun, flirty, or freeing. It’s emotional limbo with good lighting.

We love to pretend we’re chill about it. “I’m just seeing where it goes,” you whisper, while refreshing their IG stories like you’re checking the stock market. But let’s be honest: if you need a group chat to help decode every ‘hey’ text, you’re not chill, you’re in love and emotionally dehydrated.

Psychologists have an actual name for this mess: ambiguous attachment. It’s that weird zone where there’s enough intimacy to keep you hooked but not enough to give you security. And it’s addictive. Like dating emotional nicotine.

Why do we fall into it? Short answer: fear of rejection. Long answer: trauma, capitalism, social media, and the fact that most of us were raised by people who thought “emotional availability” was a weakness.

But here’s the wild part: we accept crumbs because we’re scared of asking for cake. We convince ourselves that it’s “modern love” when really, we’re just terrified to say, “Hey, what are we?” because if they answer “nothing,” our little dream world collapses.

So we stay. We linger. We laugh too loud at their jokes and pretend we don’t care that they flaked again.

But you deserve a love that doesn’t ghost, breadcrumb, or come with a built-in exit plan. You deserve clarity, consistency, and someone who knows what the hell they want.

Situationships are fun until they’re not. Don’t let “vibes” be the reason you delay real intimacy.