Dating While Healing: Can You Find Connection Before You Fix Yourself?

Dating while healing feels a lot like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing screws and a strong sense of denial. You’re out here swiping, flirting, and trying to look hot on a Wednesday while internally screaming into the void. Fun!

Let’s get something straight: you don’t have to be perfectly healed to date. If emotional stability were a requirement, the dating pool would be a single, lonely man named Gary who goes to therapy twice a week and owns a Himalayan salt lamp. The rest of us? We're works in progress with trauma responses and unfinished coping strategies, trying not to text our ex.

But here’s the truth no one wants to hear: you can date while healing—you just can’t date like someone else is gonna do the healing for you. No one’s coming to fix your daddy issues with forehead kisses and consistent texting. That’s on you, boo.

If you’re dragging your wounded self into someone else’s life hoping they’ll make the ache go away? That’s a recipe for codependency, not connection. Sorry. I don’t make the rules, I just read too many psych articles and cry in the bath.

Healing doesn’t mean you’re fine all the time. It means you can say, “I’m trying, I’m messy, and I might need a minute before I spiral because you liked your ex’s dog on Instagram.” That’s the real work.

So date while healing. Absolutely. But do it with honesty, not a highlight reel and a pile of unresolved rage. You’re allowed to be in progress. Just don’t hand someone else the hammer and say, “Here, build me.”